I am sure many educators asked this question of their students during the first or second week of school. I did during my practice and it was quite “eye opening”. Or, you might have attended a workshop and this was an activity you were asked to participate in.
When someone asks “Who are you?” many of us freeze for a moment. Our minds race to our roles (I’m a grandparent, a teacher, a student), or to our demographics (I’m Jamaican, I’m 35, (I wish) I’m married or single), or even to what others expect us to say. Very rarely do we reach for the deeper truth of who we really are.
Why is this question so hard? Let me answer that for you
From early on, we’re taught to tie identity to what we do – our grades, jobs, or achievements – rather than who we are at the core.
Saying “I’m a nurse” or “I’m from Clarendon, Jamaica or Toronto, Canada” gives people a neat box to put us in. But naming qualities like “I am compassionate” or “I am resilient” feels riskier, because it reveals our inner self.
When we spend years measuring ourselves through others’ eyes, we can lose sight of our authentic essence/our true selves.
And when asked “What do you love about yourself?” the struggle deepens. Many of us were raised to downplay our strengths, to focus on the flaws, or to believe self-love equals arrogance. No wonder it’s easier to say what we do than who we are.
The deeper work is for us to peel back the labels and find the qualities that remain even if and when the roles disappear. For example:
So, at our core, we are more than roles, jobs, or demographics. We are qualities, values, and presence.
Here’s my own attempt at answering the question, not with labels, but with essence:
When asked, “Who are you?”
I reach for the easy mask
A title, a role, a duty,
Something the world will grasp.
“I’m a teacher, a mother, a friend,
I’m from this place, of that descent.”
Yet these are costumes stitched by time,
Not the fabric of my intent.
Why do I stumble when asked,
“What do you love about yourself?”
Because I’ve been trained to notice lack,
To place my worth on a shelf.
But strip away the labels,
The echoes of others’ demands,
And there I find a truer voice,
A life not built on sand.
I am courage wrapped in mercy,
I am more than money or name.
I am hope that walks through darkness,
I am truth that will not bend,
I am love that keeps on giving,
Beginning, becoming, no end.
So, ask me again, “Who are you?”
This time, I will not hide.
I am not what I do, nor where I live,
I am essence, alive inside.
Now it’s your turn. Instead of answering “Who are you?” with roles or labels, try writing your own poem (doesn’t have to be as long as mine). Start with an “I Am” statement that speaks to your essence, not your job, not your title, not your demographic.
Then build from there.
Also, if you’re open to it, share your poem in the comments. Let’s create a space where identity is celebrated not in labels, but in truth.
Note: If you’re a teacher and would like to guide your students through this same journey, I’ve created a classroom handout with reflection prompts and space for students to write their own poems. You can download it here.
